Category Archives: Uncategorized

How cool was my weekend?

And how cool is my wife? Honestly? Look at this! Look!

I FINALLY MET A CHIMP!
And, he had designs on my wife. He loved her! He wanted nothing more than a nice, romantic, quiet date. One where she repeatedly placed rubber galoshes over her shoes. Hey, Cody, whatever floats your boat.

He was the best. If I hadn’t been up for hours redesigning this site, I’d tell you more now, but there’ll be more in Lost Angeles soon…

Not asleep…

I haven’t gone away, just been busy as usual. Too much to catch up on here, but I’m trying to learn CSS a little better to give the site an overall unified look.

Oscar night was interesting. No real shockers, only to say that KING KONG tied for most Oscars of the night (or may have finished tied for 2nd, but still…). Best movie ever made about a giant Gorilla, period. (When you finish a sentence by stating “period”, is it grammatically correct to put a period on the sentence?)
I found it odd that some left and ring wing talkers on the radio declared that the spirit of America, the true soul of the country, would be determined when best actress was revealed. Reese Witherspoon winning meant that rural America and traditional values won, while Felicity Huffman winning would be a statement that America was becoming more progressive.

Who thinks this sh!t up? Honestly.

“Costume” roles hardly ever win best performance awards at the Oscars. The rule of thumb is usually the bigger you go, the less likely you are to win. It’s all about Nuance.

As for Brokeback Mountain not winning best picture (which it probably should have), it’s not a resounding defeat for the “gay agenda”, nor is it a condemnation of lifestyle choice, nor is it a sign that America’s not ready for the subject matter, nor does it mean America is a bunch of inbred rednecks (ALL of which I heard between Air America, Sean Hannity, and Larry Elder).
The fact that Brokeback was nominated for best picture in the same year as at least three other films dealing with sexuality/gender ID issues is a sign enough that people are at least willing to think about and remain open-minded about these issues.

Favorite speech of the night goes to George Clooney. Simple, understated, and proud. To which Limbaugh responds today: “Liberals in Hollywood and elsewhere feel out of touch because they think they’re better and smarter than the rest of us…”
How in the hell he gleaned this from a speech about the positive things Hollywood has done is beyond me.

More to come…

Writing by hand…

Writing by hand offers many new challenges and rewards. The best part, I think, is that there’s no room for distractions. No stopping to google, no checking email. You just have to keep going. The drawback, for me at least, is that I type about as fast as I think while I write. However, I’m very slow when writing by hand. So to compensate, I write faster, sloppier, and may or may not be able to read my own notes when it’s all over. We’ll see. The screenplay is progressing. We’re almost ready to begin readings on the drafts of the first three episodes of our TV show, so that’s coming along.

Also, check out trunkmonkeyad.com, quite possibly the best reason I’ve seen in years to support American auto manufacturers.

Super Bowl? Give the MVP to the refs. They changed the course of the game several times.

More book reviews for the site coming soon.

He returns to the Luddites…

So, here’s my thoughts on ways to finish my latest screenplay: I’m going to write it by hand. Entirely by hand in a little notebook. This will allow me to write during my lunchbreaks at work, and simultaneously prevent me from doing internet searches and other things ebay-related while trying to write at home. I’ve got a new book in the works as well, but I will be relying on Microsoft Word to get me through it.

In other news, my wife and I started the South Beach diet about five days ago, and it seems to be working. I’ve dropped about four pounds already. This is Phase 1: No carbs, no sugar, no fruits. It is a giant pain in the ass, because we have to prepare every meal… just like in the olden days. Only now, we also have to be careful about what ingredients we’re using. I guess it’s nice not to be eating so much processed food, but also scary when you realize how much nasty stuff is in processed food. And as a bonus, lots of egg and chicken dishes! (Not eggs AND chicken, you know, but…)

…and so it goes…

I should have known it would come to this. Last time I watched the Bengals in an important playoff game, the only memory I was left with was Tim Krumrie’s leg snapping like a dried twig in gruesome slo-mo instant replay.
So it came as little surprise to me to have this be the lasting image of Sunday’s game.

We should have planned for this, knowing Kitna was a liability to the team. Any number of trades could have been made (and hopefully will in the off-season). Carson Palmer will lead us further next year. I just know it. And when we get the the Big Game, it will be someone else’s turn to suffer a horrendous fluke injury.

Story of my life, I tells ya…

For now, go Bears!

Happy New Year everybody!

Except for you, juicy fruiter. Yes, I have had several comments posted to my various blogs by the mysterious Juicyfruiter, an idiotic viral marketing scheme from the folks at Wrigleys. They tell me they like my blog, then they tell me to see theirs, where they talk about their job as a park ranger.

SCREW YOU JUICY FRUIT! I DON’T EVEN CHEW GUM!

Look at the rage you’ve brought me in this new year!

On a side note, here are the movies I’ve seen lately without reviewing (something I need to catch up on):
King Kong
The Corpse Bride
Scarface
Harvey Krumpet
Star Wars Episode III
Comic Book: The Movie
Batman Begins
Napoleon Dynamite

the list goes on…

I also need to post reviews for the following on my music blog:
eastmountainsouth
Over the Rhine
Johnny Cash
Aimee Mann
Erin McKeown
The Blind Boys of Alabama (GET THEIR STUFF NOW!)
Solomon Burke
Rasputina
U2
Mazzy Star
Rancid
Willie Nelson

They all keep me writing… I tell you there are not enough hours in the day. We got the pictures back from my Saturn in the junkyard, so there will be a new Lost Angeles story soon about the theft and death of my car.

You know, I was going to end with a joke here by posting a photo of some horrific event + one evil political pundit (Ann Coulter), then balance it with a heroic soldier and a puppy, then, for fun, add a pic of Mr. T. But it’s late and I’m tired, and I discovered that there is a disturbing cottage industry online of people who like to photoshop Ms. Coulter into sexy Nazi photos.
I mean, I hate her and everything she stands for, but methinks some libs out there have some repressed lust/Eva Braun fantasies.
I’m not crazy… look, a two second google search can give you things like these:


There are nude-ier versions, and less nude. And some with green skin. I think people really like to photoshop her. I mean, they manipulate her image like Ann Coulter manipulates facts to… ahh, screw it. Happy New Year!

And yea, the seventh seal was broken…

AND HAVOC RULED ACROSS THE LAND! AND GOD SAYETH UNTO THE MORTALS:
WHO DEY? WHO DEY? WHO DEY THINK GONNA BEAT DEM BENGALS?

MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Good God, I’ll be eating crow for this post by the end of January, I just know it. Or maybe… just maybe…A guarantee:
Here’s my guarantee. My promise, and if I’m wrong, I’ll vote Republican in ’06.
Super Bowl*. GUARANTEE, take it to the bank.

I don’t even have to post screen captures of the division standings. Because the Division champs are here!


* – guarantee only implies that there will be a game played in 2006 called The Super Bowl.