Super Blah

How awful was that game tonight? Just mistake after mistake. The two conference championship games were marvels to behold. Stunning contests of will, tenacity, who would score last, or in the case of the Bears/Saints game, could Grossman pull his head out long enough to get the win the D was working so hard to achieve?
The SuperBowl, in contrast, was a game ruled by miscues, soft D from the Bears, and a single player destroying his team’s chances. I’m a Bengals fan first and foremost, but in the NFC, I likes me some Bears. Grossman’s gotta go. Now. Don’t even wait until after the ProBowl. Make a move, bench him and bring in a journeyman with some skills (Jeff Garcia, anyone?). The Bears deserved better that waht they showed tonight. They were almost as bad as the shameless self-promoting Timberlake ripoff that Rex Grossman features on his website.
RexyBack – try not to puke while listening…
Bad, bad, bad.

And what was up with the commercials? Awful, unfunny, and pretty morbid. An old man in a heart costume gets his ass kicked by a bunch of leather-wearing thugs? Office people survive in the jungle and get humiliated? A poor car-making robot is driven to suicide after dropping a screw on the assembly line?

My favorite part of the evening was Prince’s “Austin Powers” innspired Penis puppet shadow show! Enjoy – who knows how long until YouTube blocks it?

I’m unimpressed. I’m unhappy.
But I DID discover that God favors the Colts. He hates the Bears, man. I guess he’s making them repent for the sin of pride (from 1986) by foisting Grossman upon them. Dungy, Manning, the owner of the Colts, everyone made it clear. The only thing God had on his mind tonight was a ring for the Colts. Hey, you know when God gets involved in the game? When Ditka calls his number, that’s when! Otherwise, he’s got other things to do.

Late night humor

I saw this first clip and can’t stop laughing. The music seals the deal, along with the look on the victim’s face at the end. The ends justify the means. He smells better now, and we’ve all been entertained…

The next video made me laugh when I thought about the theory of it. Seeing it in action is funny/scary/sad…

Okay, okay. I’m sorry I scared you all. Here’s an extremely funny and cruelty-free cat on drugs to make up for it.

Posting a lot of vids lately, I know. But all of my creative thought is aimed towards writing and doing websites. I’ll have more interesting things to say at some point down the road. Until then, enjoy the moving pictures!

Also, by request from Neil Gaiman, you can play a cosmic joke on Penn Jillette by clicking the link…

Cobra Kai Never Dies!

Y’ever wonder what happened to Kreese, Johnny, and the gang that Daniel-san defeated in the original Karate Kid? Well, look no further than the new video by the band No More Kings – Sweep the Leg, Johnny! Kind of an annoying song that grows on you with an annoying lead singer whose facial hair makes you want to kick him. In the face. Which Johnny, still resplendent in his middle age, happily does in the video. All of the original Cobra Kai Dojo is back, and there’s a bonus Ralph Macchio cameo!
Check it out (it’s worth the seven minutes of your time).

Copyright videos…

Well, it turns out the Shufflin’ Crew from my previous post has been yanked from YouTube for soemthing called “copyright infringement”. Anybody ever heard of this? I thought everything was fair game on the internets! What good are these giant tubes if we can’t see or listen to whatever we want, whenever, free?

To make up for it, I give you the hard rockin’ Fabulous Freebirds from the 80s. You’ve got Michael PS Hayes singin’ and dancin’, backed up by Dirty Dick Murdoch and Terry Bam Bam Gordy. This was Rock n’ Wrestling at its best. Actually, the song stands up pretty well. The visuals? Not so much…

In case Hayes’ twitchy, meth addict-like delivery is hard to comprehend, I give you the lyrics (courtesy of the internet, cuz I can’t understand him either).

Badstreet USA by Michael P.S. Hayes
I want to tell you a story
about a place you don’t wanna be.
This ain’t no home sweet home,
it’s a home sweet misery.
We knew when we got here
they’d try to put us away.
But when they seen us walk down
the street they ran the other way.

Badstreet, Atlanta, GA
Baddest street in the whole USA
Badstreet nasty and hot
The further down the block you went, the badder it got.

Street is a jumping,
tonight there’ll be a brawl.
Old Lady McDuffie she done
give the cops a call.
She might as well call the Army or
the United States Marines,
’cause can’t nobody handle this
Badstreet scene.


17 punks came calling and
they thought that they were hot.
They thought that they were nasty
and could make it down on our block.
But I’ll never forget hearing that
ambulance driver say,
“Someone should have told those
boys ’bout Badstreet USA.”

So don’t you come looking.
on this side of town.
‘Cause this is where the Freebirds
live and everything’s going down.
If you don’t know by now,
we always get our way.
That’s the way it is down
here on Badstreet USA.


We live in the last house on the right.
Badstreet baby, anytime!

Wrestling was the shiznit back in the day.

Sure, but can they sing?

With the Super Bowl fast approaching and a shot for the Bears bring back the ol’ magic, I’ve been remembering the greatness that was the Super Bowl Shuffle. You know, the 80s brought us many great things. The greatest of them all would be the music collaboration for a cause/ You know, Live Aid, Band Aid, Hands Across America, etc. The Bears started something much more insidious: athletes singing for worthy causes. I give you first the prime example:the classic Super Bowl Shuffle.

All I can say is, hey Maury Buford (the punter, number 8) – MORE COWBELL!

Then, there’s New England’s response (never before and never since has the victim of a horrendous football beatdown brought us such a snappy rejoinder.)

What can you say about this Patriotic trainwreck? From the lousy lyrics that pretty much confirm the singers are the only ones who thought the Pats had a shot to the hair and the clothes… Let’s not leave out the ending. The song completely runs out of steam two minutes in. The singers give up, say “screw this, loop the chorus for three more minutes, we’re outta here”, and then we’re treated to some off-tempo witty one liners from “famous” Boston figures.

Oh, but the train keeps on rollin’. The Los Angeles Showtime Lakers decided it was time to be moral and recorded their own anti-drug rap. The Lakers are looking somewhat less than manly in their short shorts and wraparound shades. But check out Rambis rapping!

Then, the 1986 Raiders tried to capitalize on the football rap craze, and brought us something cutting edge: rap/rock hybrid “Silver and Black Attack”. Yes, LA was always ahead of its time. Plus, you can listen to Howie Long rapping about sitting on Running Backs.

And the final entry, which may have never had a music video, from the powerhouse dynasty of the 80s, the San Francisco 49ers. What could such a dominant franchise say about themselves to strike fear into the hearts of opponents? Apparently, they just wanted to remind the city they had a franchise. here’s “We’re the 49ers“.

I’m hard pressed to find anything more embarrassing…so I’ll leave you with another positive message from the 80s: Be Somebody. Or Be Somebody’s Fool. After all, Everbody gotta wear clothes. If you don’t, you’ll get arrested.

I love the 80s!

I’ll fix you, chimPod…

So it’s come to this. After numerous searches on pHp, frames, iFrames, java, etc, I’ve determined that there’s no good way to get the chimPod featured on every page and keep it running. So chimPod will require work from you – one click’s worth! Tomorrow, I’m going to rewrite the code so that the chimpod will pop open in a small separate window. This way, you can start it, leave it going, and go back to the main site to browse around. It’s the easiest way to fix it, and honestly probably the best. Plus, this way it won’t stream automatically and cost me bandwidth…

Don’t make my chimPod lonely! Keep listening to him! He’s not going away, he’s just hiding!

Read more horror!

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