Okay. So we’re back on the air. Here are the two things I think are of utmost importance right now.

No, okay three.

One of the cool things about living in Los Angeles: you know those horrible pre-paid half hour television shows for such products as the BowFlex and the Perfect Pancake, and anything by RonCo? Well, during the awards season, L.A. TV gets half hour shows begging you to consider movies for nomination. Fun. You get stuff that is buried on Disc Two of a DVD set thrown at you for a movie that you may or may not care about. You get to hear deep insights like “The moment I heard so and so read, I just knew nobody else could play the part”.

Blah Blah Blah.

SOAP PLANT WACKO LA LUZ DE JESUS.

The full name of the coolest store near my neighborhood. Why are they cool? Imagine a store that carries only fun toys and weird books. Now combine it with a store that promotes underground concerts and counterculture doodahs. NOW combine it with an art gallery, and you start to get the idea of what this place is about. You can find more out at soapplant.com They have an entire section devoted to Monkeys! Monkey bookends, Monkey Candleholders, Monkey garden statues, Monkey Head nodders, a Japanese book about a claymation-like monkey.

Phew. What a day. This is a store that you have to visit.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL…

Here at Monkeywright.com, we’re about to get proactive on yo’ ass. No, nothing about politics or social issues. It’s about writing. My writing. Your writing. The writing on the wall. (Well, if you write on the walls and later type it into your computer, it will be about the writing on the wall. Never mind.) Here’s the deal. There will be two new sections forthcoming:

1. Post a haiku (self explanatory)

a.Okay, a brief explanation. The haiku is not a self explanatory haiku. Nothing like:

I can’t stop eating.

Five hundred Twinkies and Spam.

Like Anna Nicole.

b.The preceding was a haiku explaining a bit of self-loathing with a not-so-veiled allusion to publicity (and all around) hog, Anna Nicole Smith. Nay. I want you to write your own haikus about whatever you want. And tell a friend. And it will be fun.

2. The writer’s group is coming.

a. On top of everything else, I want some dedicated people who are interested in furthering their writing to write to me. We’ll coordinate, have online readings and reviews (CONSTRUCTIVE criticism), and generally push each other to keep going when all is darkest. So if you’re interested, drop me a line via the contact page.

b. There is no b.

I think that’s enough for tonight. PREPARE!

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