Not much going on here. I saw Bubba Ho-Tep, an interesting new movie featuring everybody’s favorite B-Movie chin, Bruce Campbell as Elvis. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Right now, Southern California is recovering from fires. Everything stinks like a wet barbeque, my allergies are up, and I feel horrible for everyone that lost homes and property. But who do I feel more sorry for? Our local news coverage.

California has the worst, and I mean horrible beyond belief, news crews. They’re so focused on celebrity style and marriage most of the time that when something newsworthy comes along, they are revealed as mental five year olds.

Examples?

1. The Iraq War: During the first few weeks, Fox anchor Jillian Barberie would spend her time reading magazines and tabloid papers DURING the morning news. This is something she always does, probably because it makes her “quirky” and “hip”, but could it have stopped for a war? The fact that they still kept features such as “tabloid Thursday” and “Style Files” (a feature they run every thirty minutes, about new purses and belts and things) should give you an idea of how focused our intrepid reporters are.

But then the fires came. This was something local. Something HUGE. Something more complex than a medium speed car chase. And what did we get? Some real gems.

2. While talking to the sheriff’s deputy live on the air, a reporter said, and I quote, “What should local people be doing now in Lake Arrowhead. Is it time to panic?”

3. Another reporter, interviewing a group of fireman: “As a female firefighter, I’m sure things are more difficult for you. You’re up here on the mountain. People have to use the restroom. There are all kinds of concerns.”

I should interrupt to say that I wish I was making this up.

4. Then there was the reporter who drove his van up close to a group of firefighters setting backfires. The wind shifted, the entire place went ablaze, and firefighters had to go out of their way to save him and his cameraman. (This guy will probably get an award). Later, he was quoted as saying that seeing his newsvan burned up, he began to get an idea of what the people in the mountain communities were going through.

I could make a website dedicated to the fine work of our local news reporters. Imagine a bunch of bitter Midwestern community theater actors who traveled to LA with dreams and remain to this day with bleachy smiles and stiff hair. But I guess if it’s not entertaining, it’s not news.

Back to you, Skip.